Breaking up with someone is not easy, and having someone you still like break up with you is even harder. The reasons for these break-ups can often be hurtful and stupid. Talk about grasping at straws, if you just don’t feel the connection is there or envision a future with the other person then say that. There’s no need to come up with some BS excuse as to why it’s not working out. Here are 17 actual reasons people gave for why they were breaking up with their significant others, and you won’t believe how ridiculous people can be.
1. Now this really isn’t as stupid an excuse as it sounds. If you look at dating as being an interview for a potential spouse, you have to consider that they may be the mother of your children and pass their knowledge, or lack there of, on to those children.
2. This I don’t agree with. I see withholding flatulence as a sign of love. I wish that my husband would learn this type of affection.
3. I don’t routinely watch this show but one thing I’m certain of is that you’re both stubborn.
4. This one I can get on board with. I had a friend who would smack while chewing gum and it is the worst. I think that we have a mild form of misophonia.
5. Sleepwalkers can be creepy.
6. Run girl. Run. However, it makes me wonder if this is a fetish or a way to get girls he wants to dump to dump him. It might be brilliant. Someday it may backfire and he’ll have his girlfriend think it’s cute and ask to see his mannequin’s wardrobe.
7. Unless she lived with her parents in a treehouse in the woods, it just sounds like the dumb excuse it is.
8. This was actually a concern of President Eisenhower which is why he ordered all possible pictures taken of Nazi crimes so it could be documented instead of brushed off as a falsehood. Too bad there are people like this ex-girlfriend who aren’t interested in actual history.
9. I think that would be a better excuse to trade in your VW instead of trading in your girlfriend.
10. Don’t blame the gun. Blame the gamer.
11. Personally I think the only good time for colored contact lenses if during Halloween, or if you are trying to hide your true identity.
12. He could have played it off that she was a celebrity to him, unless he wanted to be dumped. Which may be the case because she is obviously an idiot.
13. If she said “oops” when she dropped it, it doesn’t count as littering. It’s an accident. (This is actually what I was once told.)
14. But the song says “She thinks my tractor’s sexy.” You were obviously the wrong girl anyways.
15. I use men’s razors too. He obviously doesn’t deserve you.
16. He’s a lover, not a fighter.
17. Maybe she missed the year in school where you are required to read the book? Or maybe we should give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she was talking about the silent film that was released in 1926.
After reading these reasons relationships were ended, it makes me grateful that I am no longer dating, and instead I am happily married. However, I’m confident there are just as many dumb reasons for divorce nowadays so I guess I’m not entirely safe. Everyone assumes their marriage will last forever, and I’m no exception, it’s just that when divorce does happen it affects people a little more than a regular breakup that doesn’t involve severing legal commitments. Divorce more often than not makes people bitter and mean. So if you said “I do” before inventing a dumb reason to break up, you might want to do your best to see it through.