All winter long, you’re dreaming of the warmer temperatures and how amazing your life would be if you could just live on the beach. The sad truth is that your expectations far exceed reality. Setting unrealistic expectations is a surefire way to continually set yourself up for failure. Why do you want to do that to yourself? Pardon my reality check, but look people. If you lower your expectations, you’ll have a lot more happiness in your life. Don’t get me wrong, with careful planning, you can execute an epic summer vacation or getaway. But don’t expect an endless summer that is 100% full of fun and good times. Below are 20 photos illustrating the realities of summer that just might help you to keep your expectations in check in order to better enjoy the good times.
1. Beach Life: You do realize that seashells and starfish lying on the beach are nothing more than animals unwillingly ripped from their homes and left to die on the hot, dry sand, right?
2. Snorkeling: The pictures you see of beautiful, colorful sea life are a rarity. The majority of what’s seen doesn’t even warrant a photo, let alone people attempting to share it with millions on the internet.
3. The Sand: On a perfect day, that sand is nice and warm. But in reality, if the water is warm enough and the air temperature is perfect, the sand is probably going to set your feet on fire.
4. Castles Made Of Sand: They fall into the sea, eventually! (Thanks for that one JIMI!)
5. Body Boarding: Once again, the photos you see are really a super focused highlight reel. You’re probably going to go out there and almost drown before someone can capture an epic photo of your attempts.
6. People Watching: Don’t I know this one from experience. I thought the beaches in Europe would be super sexy. I left wishing I could pressure wash my eyeballs. Gigantic, hairy, elderly naked people, GROSS!
7. Sunglasses Ruin Your Tan: You know, because they don’t make suntan lotion for your eyeballs. Sunscreen stings, and the sun scorches your eye holes. Lower your expectations of a perfectly tanned face.
8. Man Tan: T-shirt lines, tank top lines, getting sunburn lines on the tender parts of my arms because ape hangers are cool. The struggle is real. I usually only ‘lay down’ to catch some sun once or twice a year. The rest of the time is spent attempting to be productive. Unless you’re a stick, the curves on your body are going to create shadows and more of a camouflage pattern than a smooth tan.
9. Fun Vs Snacks: First world problems. It’s hot outside and the air conditioning feels so nice. Since I can’t go outside, I’ll just stuff my face with delicious snacks to pass the time.
10. Video Game Cheese Puff: Chances are, you’re already a slave to the video games. Why would a nice day tear you away from your gaming obligations?
11. Summertime Boredom: For those in school, summertime is a 3-month opportunity to do whatever you want, live life your way. I never knew that your life’s desire was to sit around and complain that you’re bored.
12. Stuck At Work: Not all of us are teachers that do whatever they do all summer. Most of us have jobs with hours that need to be worked 52 weeks a year. Those jobs, unfortunately, tether us to a computer or other obligations that prevent us from enjoying the wonders of summer.
13. Bowl And Spoon Tan Line: There’s nothing to laugh about here! One time I passed out, I mean, I fell asleep in the sun. I was so relaxed that I didn’t move at all during my slumber. I woke with one white hand print on my leg, and another hand holding a cell phone on my belly. Hey, it happens!
14. Coming Up For Air: Trying to expel the air, desperate for your next breath as you lunge out of the water. Who really expects this to be an attractive sight?
15. Convertibles: Ladies, please explain this one to me. You do your make-up and make sure your hair’s all done up, only to jump into a car with the rag top down. Isn’t this where you sweat off all of your face artwork and end up with the hairdo from The Exorcist? I don’t get it.
16. Beach Or TV: Hey, either way you’re just sitting around watching something, right?
17. Laying Out At The Beach: It’s hot. It’s miserably hot and human beings weren’t meant to be placed on a rotisserie. And have you ever noticed how sunblock makes you sweat?
18. Sexy Beach Pic: Any beach picture really. Oh, that’ll be a good pic, just go a little closer to the water. SPLASH. Oh darn, I didn’t see that big wave coming in.
19. Overpopulated Beach: This is a huge problem if you’re not a big ‘people person’. I’m the guy that’s going to sacrifice a little beauty for the tranquility of a more secluded area.
20. Back At Home: It’s amazing how much sand you can actually pull from your britches after an activity filled day at the beach. That stuff has a hiding capability that puts Waldo and Carmen Sandiego to shame!
Moral of the story people, if you want to have an enjoyable summer, set the bar low. Lower your standards and every day will be better than you expected. What are some of your favorite things about the summer? I love the BBQs, the hanging outside with friends, and late summer nights enjoying warm weather.
Either way, I’m still excited for summer!