I love going to the pet store. I get to wander up and down the aisles looking at different types of animals that will never make it inside my home. My husband is terrified of snakes and I am absolutely disgusted by rodents. Yes, we could get a fish, but that would mean our cat would end up having a dinner on us while making a huge mess. I do try to avoid the pet store when I see that they are having a pet adoption event because I know I will end up taking a cute little puppy home. But when you are at the pet store looking at animals, have you ever paid attention to their description cards? I mean, I look at the description cards, but I don’t read into them too much. After seeing what comedian Jeff Wysaski did though, I will be paying a whole lot more attention! These are absolutely hilarious and I can’t believe how much time and effort went into pulling off this pet store prank.
Baby Godzilla Lizard – This may be the best description of a lizard I’ve ever seen in a pet store. I’ll definitely take one of these if they are great for toasting marshmallows.
Baby Creeper’s Python – This snake would totally look cool wrapped around a katana sword. That is, until it eats your face!
Invisible Jenny – I like that he’s even laughing at his own jokes. Now you know he had a great time pulling off this prank. I bet Jenny would look good in a tiny sweater.
Gym Rat – Get it? Well this rat never skips leg day and it’s adult size is ripped. Maybe it should just stay in the cage. We don’t need a bunch of rats hopped up on steroids running around.
Fieri Hamster – How funny would it be if this hamster actually was super annoying and “in your face”. I can promise you that it wouldn’t make me like it anymore.
Judgmental Tree Frog – Ever feel like your pets are judging you? Well this one definitely is. You can tell by the look on its face.
Haitian Voodoo Death Bird – I am kind of thinking Jeff Wysaski might have a bit of a bird phobia. This Voodoo Death Bird won’t do much else other than copy every word you say.
Regular Boring Normal Turtle – This is the description I need when I take the kids to the pet store and they want a turtle. No, they don’t do anything other than sit and stink. And Jeff made a good point – they aren’t teenaged, they aren’t mutant, they’re not ninjas, and they do not fight crime. Really, what is the point?
More info: Obvious Plant
The amount of time Jeff Wysaski put into this pet store prank is pretty commendable! I wonder how long it took before someone realized what they were reading. I might be more likely to add to my growing brood of animals if they all came with descriptions like this. I think adoption centers should follow suit, just to keep the humor going. Who knows, maybe people would be more likely to adopt an animal if it came with a hilarious description.