With over 7 billion people in the world and 51.9% of those people being men, you could say there are a lot of penises out there. This special member of the male species is one of the most important, talked about, joked about, worried about, awkward, yet vital parts of the human anatomy. I’m not going to waste your time and tell you about the importance of the penis and I will do my best to steer clear of the penis jokes if I can help myself. Hopefully you’ve all been through sex education and anatomy class, or at least have a basic understanding of the human male penis. I, being an adult male, like to think that I’m pretty familiar with my penis. I have been living with it for quite a while now. My penis has been right with me through the good times as well as the bad. We have a special bond and still after all these years, the sex education classes as well as the basic understanding of the human anatomy, I was pretty shocked when I read these penis facts. Even if you consider yourself a penis expert, possibly a doctor or maybe an adult film star, I doubt you know most of these fascinating penis facts.
1. There are two correct ways to mention multiple “members” in a sentence. The plural form of “penis” is “penises” or “penes”.
2. An infant boy in the womb, can, will, and does get an erection while inside the womb.
3. Here’s a very interesting statistic, men are not typically “dissatisfied” by their penis size. Only 30% of men are unhappy with the size of their bed snake and most of those men have average or above average sized penis.
4. Contrary to popular belief, shoe size does not have anything to do with the size of a man’s disco stick.
5. A man’s penis will lose sensitivity with age. Studies have shown that the sensitivity of the male lance of love starts to decline at age 25. Men are more likely to worry about erectile dysfunction than the loss of sensitivity. Luckily there is a magical little blue pill for that.
6. Doctors can use the foreskin of infants to grow skin grafts for burn victims. Supposedly one infant foreskin can produce 23,000 square meters of new skin. That’s enough to cover every single major league infield with winkie skin.
7. According to a 2007 study, only 30% of men around the world above the age of 15 are circumcised. Close to 80% of American men have had their cupid’s arrow clipped thanks to a 19th century measure to prevent masturbation.
8. Semen contains anywhere between 5 and 25 calories per serving. The ingredients that make up the baby batter are citric acid, amino acids, fructose, enzymes, and water.
9. The reason one testicle hangs lower than the other is not because of size or weight, but so they don’t smack into one another. If they were right in line with each other, men would have a serious problem trying to run.
10. According to the Penguin Atlas of Sexual Behavior, there are over 166,666,000 people having sex every single minute, each day, around the world. This seems like a very possible alternative energy source if you ask me, with a pretty awesome incentive to help the world!
11. Attractive men actually have stronger sperm. A study in Spain involved women ranking men based on their looks. The men that were found to be the best looking were most often the best sperm donors.
12. The male tallywhacker actually shrinks if its owner is a smoker. Tobacco use calcifies blood cells restricting blood flow. This can cause the man bits to shrink up to a centimeter.
13. A man who is recently deceased can actually pop a boner. This gives a whole new meaning to “Die Hard”. Makes you think, doesn’t it?
14. The largest penis in the world is about 13.5 inches…. I bet he drives a tiny old car. Why? Because he can.
15. Diet completely affects the taste of a man’s semen. While you may think asparagus is the worst culprit for a foul-tasting release, red meat and dairy are actually the worst offenders. Try sticking with sweet and citrus-y if you want a less salty flavor.
16. Here’s a little confidence booster. The male penis is actually about twice as big as it appears to be. About half of the penis muscle is actually inside the body. When having sex in the missionary position, the full tube steak is the shape of a boomerang.
17. The average man will “release” himself about 7,200 times in his lifetime. Again another possible source for renewable energy? Maybe to charge your phone like one of those flashlights that charge when you shake them.
18. King Louis XVI helped make circumcision popular because he suffered from phimosis. (I had to Google it too.)
19. Within 24 hours, the average male experiences 11 erections. These things have a mind of their own.
20. From start to finish, on average, intercourse lasts a mere 2 minutes and 50 seconds. It takes two to tango and it appears that it’s a really short song.
21. Germany is the country that boasts the most penis enlargement operations in the world. Americans just buy a really huge truck.
22. There are in fact two types of penises, “showers” and “growers”. Showers remain relatively the same size whether flaccid or erect. Growers will elongate and expand when thinking dirty thoughts.
Well what are you going to do with your new-found penis information? These penis facts would be great at any party, possibly a pickup line at a bar. You might want to stay away from the average intercourse session lasting just under 3 minutes though. You also might want to completely disregard anything I just said. I have absolutely no clue when these enlightening penis facts will come in handy but I do feel smarter knowing them. If nothing else, you might make the room seriously awkward by being the person full of penis facts.