In my more athletic days, I thought I was quite the limber fellow. Well, come to find out, my version of flexibility was but a drop in the bucket compared to the elastic abilities of these people. The following photos exhibit human beings that are so freakishly flexible that I went from a state of amazement to being downright fearful that they had been victims of a demonic possession. This is a fair warning. While some of these individuals are a beautiful specimen of athletic ability, others will leave you fumbling for the phone to call an exorcist.
1. 250 Degree Dancer: If the perfect splits are 180 degrees, my guess is that this split is around 250 degrees.
2. Beach Body Bender: My back hurts just looking at this picture. I really gotta say nice form!
3. Cheerleading Stunt: This takes a great deal of skill and athleticism, not to mention bravery and trust.
4. Dislocated Hip: I can almost hear her hip popping out-of-place. This one made me a little queasy.
5. Flexing On The Phone: You know, she is just chillin’, checking her text messages and stuff. Nothing to see here.
6. Handstand Human Chair: Absolutely unnatural in so many ways. How can a person bend like that without seriously damaging their body?
7. His And Hers Flex: Anything you can do, I can do better! Challenge accepted.
8. Human Spider: Yep. I used to think spiders were creepy. That is, until I saw the human spider.
9. Performer Having Tea And Soup: Okay, it is bad enough that she can bend like this, but now she is going to use the spoon with her toes? That cannot be comfortable or sanitary.
10. Ripped Flexible Guy: Is this guy related to Jean-Claude Van Damme?
11. He Sits On His Own Shoulders: Wanna fight? Why don’t you stick your head up your butt and fight for air? Listen kid, don’t pay attention to those people.
12. Spin Dip: No, it’s not your favorite appetizer. The spin dip is this girls new dance move.
13. Spin Top Soda: The spin top was supposed to be a reference to the soda bottle. This guy clearly misunderstood.
14. Splits And A Whip: I think this young lady’s got springs in her hips.
15. Splits With A Twist: Looks like do it yourself chiropractic practices. Do not try this at home.
16. Super Split Pose: This is a stretch that would make Gumby jealous. For us ‘real people’, it just makes us search for the joint and muscle cream.
17. There Are No Words: Standing splits to a doubled over, half inverted. Can someone verify that this girl is actually human, please?
18. They See Me Rollin’: I’ve seen a street performer doing this in Las Vegas. It wasn’t right then, and it isn’t right now. I mean, who really strives to become a human tire?
19. Upside Down Ballet: I don’t care which way you rotate this picture, it’s still not going to look right.
20. Wall Back Bend: Something’s gotta give. I’m thinking it’s going to be about half of her vertebrae. OUCH.
I don’t know about you, but after seeing these images, I just hurt. I don’t know if I need to go to a chiropractor or get a full body massage. What I do know is this. I need to get these images out of my head so I can sleep tonight without writhing in pain at the thought of these contortionists feats.