I’m not a hunter so I’ve never paid much attention to the beautiful trophy mounts that I’ve seen. After being exposed to these gems, I’ll surely be taking a closer look. I’m assuming that a good and proper mount can be quite expensive. As the time tried saying goes, “You get what you pay for.” I am willing to bet that very little came out-of-pocket for these prime examples of bad taxidermy.
1. You’re A Naughty Kitty. RAWRR!
2. The Seductive Squirrel. Looking at me with that come hither stare. So weird.
3. The Rug Really Brings Life To The Room. Or comes to life out of the floor. I don’t know what they were going for with this one.
4. The Bad Boy Fox. Stunner shades, a spliff, and custom jewelry courtesy of the local police department. This guy is totally thug nasty.
5. The Party Cat. You think tequila with a worm is bad? The party cat is so hardcore, his beverage has a rattlesnake chillin’ in the bottom of the bottle.
6. Back From The Dead. I’m imagining that this is what roadkill zombies would look like. Scary!
7. The Demon Concoction. I’ve got no idea what this animal is, or was, or is supposed to be.
8. Bath Time For Fox. Rubber ducky, you’re the one, that makes bath time so much fun.
9. A Horse Mid Fall. This guy’s got to have a pretty good understanding of physics to get this awkward pose to stick.
10. Vampire Bat. This bat is super derpy. He kind of looks like Sloth from The Goonies.
11. Oh, Stop It. You’re embarrassing me.
12. The Fox Supermodel. Stick thin with super long legs. I think this taxidermist nailed it.
13. Head Shot.
No, I’m not talking about a modeling head shot. This poor fella actually caught one right between the eyes.
14. Cheeky Little Monkey. How many times do I have to tell you to quit acting like the banana is an extension of your manhood. Dream on little monkey.
15. Lambs For Lions. This one may have been placed in the wrong area. They almost look like stuffed animals. Well done? I guess?
16. The Rare Koala Beaver. We kindly call him K-Bucky, the buck toothed koala beaver.
17. Allergies In The Arctic. I didn’t know they had an abundance of ragweed in the snowy tundras of the Arctic.
18. Redneck Bear. We call him old blew eyes. One blew this way, one blew that way.
19. Strange Critter. It’s an… Um… I couldn’t tell you.
20. Oh Haaaay! Somebody is looking FABULOUS!
21. Nappy Warthog. Nothing tame about this guy, not even his hair.
22. Bad At Snarling. Show me your angry face. Um, you need to work on that.
23. Half Assed Taxidermy. You know, cause no one wants a complete ass hanging around.
24. Dentist’s Polar Bear. My grammy would love a new set of teeth like those. Where’d ya get ’em?
25. Hangover. Party until you die, and your taxidermist is going to make sure your hangover lasts forever.
26. Super Excited. OMG. This is the best day of my life!
27. Laughing Hyena. A super creepy laughing hyena, that is.
28. No Means No. Why don’t you get off my back, woman? You’re the one that landed us here in the first place.
29. Gonna Bust A Cap. Be careful. He’s a straight up ‘G’.
30. Raccoon With Bunny Slippers. Bet she’s got a freezer full of bon-bon’s too!
31. Elvis Or Miley? That is for you to decide.
H/T: craptaxidery
Let these 31 photos serve as an example. If you’re going to get your roadkill persevered for all time and eternity, hire a professional. If you’re too cheap, share the photos on the internet like these people did. As bad as they are, they’re still good for a great laugh. Hope you enjoyed!